Here’s a funny little story from wayyyy back when (and no, Than, there weren’t dinosaurs around…knock that off!)
A long time ago…in the early-mid 90′s, before I even met George I was over at my mom’s house hanging out. I was dead broke and hoping to score some dinner off of my mom. My master plan worked because we ended up heading over to the grocery store to pick up some dinner and some “fun food” (man I miss eating Rocky Road ice cream).
Any time Mom and I were at the grocery store together, she’d buy me a People magazine. Well, she’d buy the magazine and I’d snag it and read it first.
Not this time.
Apparently my mom was tired of paying and not getting to read it first. So after we got back to her house and unloaded the groceries, she announced that SHE was going to read the People magazine first. I was shocked and offended. But as she paid and I was in the midst of scarfing down a huge bowl of rocky road ice cream, I didn’t care.
But my mom can’t read alone. She has to make sound effects.
She’d get to something she found interesting and make noises like “oh wow!” and “whoa!”. As she got to the last page of the magazine she took a deep breath in and said, “WOW, Jen! You won’t believe this!” I kept saying, “Mom stop! I want to read it on my own!” But this last page she HAD to share. “Jen, do you know who Kathy Najimy is? Guess what? She’s gay!” And while we didn’t care that she was gay, it just wasn’t expected. My mom acted all scandalized about it (remember, it was back in the early 90′s when not many stars were “out”).
So it was finally my turn to read the magazine. I’m sitting on the couch while my mom watches tv. I get to the last page and I read the Kathy Najimy thing.
I roll my eyes.
I look at my mom.
And I say,
“Mom, she’s LEBANESE!”
(sigh) My mom needed reading glasses at an early age, too, apparently.