So since I can’t really craft (beyond drawing stuff that I WANT to craft) and I have zero energy and lots of pain….I decided I’d share something out of another journal.

In March of 2010 I had weight loss surgery.  Gastric Bypass.  The big life-changer.  Since then I have lost 132 lbs.  I rock.  It has been quite a road to travel, but the end result is fantastic in all ways.

G just brought me home from the doctor and while in the car Than asked me if (when we got home), I’d read him the “rice story” from pre-surgery.  We are both cracking up, so I thought I’d share it here.

You can see the insanity that is me affects all areas of my life.  Not just crafting.

Here’s a quick background on this story:  2 weeks pre-surgery you have to go on a total liquid diet.  That 2 week period was the hardest part about the whole surgery ordeal.  I swear by Day 2 I was ready to gnaw my own arm off just to get some food in.  It affected all aspects of my life.  I was HYPER focused on food and couldn’t have it.  There’s only so much broth, etc. that you can ingest before you dream of a big, fat juicy steak.  mmmm…steak…

Without further ado, I give you…The Rice Story

“I dreamed all night last night that I “accidentally” ate solid food.  Obviously the liquid diet is getting to me mentally.  I’m gonna win, though.  I’ll just beat my subconscious into submission.

Get with the program subconscious!  You are not going to make me ingest food!

Ok so it DID win briefly last night at dinner time.  I put rice in a bowl for Than and Subconscious whispered, “Oh wow, he may not have any salt in there.  Taste it and see!”  And stooopy me was like, “Oh!  My poor baby might not have any seasoning in his rice!  Let me taste it…wait…is there something I’m forgetting?”

In the background, Subconscious said,  “Bwahahahahahaha!”

I put the spoon in my mouth (burnt it too btw, that spoon was hot!) and had some rice in my mouth when Super Jen came in to the rescue!

“HEY STUPID!  YOU HAVE SOLID FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH!”

Then Stoopy Jen,  “OMG! I HAVE SOLID FOOD IN MY MOUTH!”  (runs to trash and spits out rice before I swallowed it).

Super Jen smacked Stoopy Jen upside the head and said,  “I thought you’d get the point when the spoon burnt your mouth, but no…you went ahead and started chewing… idiot!”

Stoopy Jen hung her head in shame.

Super Jen has grounded Stoopy Jen from handling anything to do with food.

Obviously food is not my only mental issue.”

See?  At least life is never dull with me around….