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Say Hello to my Little Friends….

After a marathon sewing session yesterday (after church/potluck), I now only have 15 more of these to make before the craft fair on 6/16!  I can’t believe that I, the Undisputed Queen of Procrastination, have created 35 of these bad boys!  Go me!  Seriously, though I’ve actually made 40 but 1 was for Than, 1 for a niece, 1 for a nephew, 1 to a girl at my dr’s office (one more for another girl up there, but I haven’t gone back up to give it to her yet.  And by “give” I mean just take it up there so she can buy it…).

And in other news, I wrenched my shoulder while patting myself on the back.
;)

 

Ok, so here’s the picture:

Fairly soon, I’ll be taking a sewing class (on the machine, even!).  Then my plot to take over the world will be in full swing….

The Long Road Home and the Tooth Fairy gets some help…

So…I’ve been gone from BC for awhile.  It’s been an eventful while.  One very bad thing happened and I ended up going home after 7 years.

Pull up a chair, this is gonna be a long one….

Backtracking a bit…  Every year in the Spring we put back money (and try to use Tax Return money) for me and Than to “try” to get back to Texas to visit family/friends.  It never works out.  Why?  Because every stinking Spring since we moved to Phoenix the price of gas goes thru the freaking roof.  Seriously…it was 3.00 a gallon when we started saving and was nearly $4.00 a gallon when time came to go.  Which rose airfare far too high and driving not feasible.

So, yet another opportunity passes us by and we can’t go.  I usually get a consolation prize outta this each year (using the money we saved) and this year was no exception.  This year I got a Kindle Fire.  I love it with all that is in me.  I play Words with Friends and Draw Something like my life depended on it.  I read USAToday on it, download books with the intention of reading (something about holding a book in my hand is still far more appealing), and watch Netflix movies on it.  I love my Kindle Fire like it’s a 2nd child.  It’s currently being called “My Precious“.  Every once in a while I let Than play Angry Birds on it, and sometimes I let G gaze on it from across the room.

Anyway, the decision had been made not to go back to Texas and the saved money was spent.  I was supposed to go to the wedding of a very, very dear girl (she’s 37, but will always be a girl to me) that I was a nanny to (along with her sister and brother) when I was 19-20.  Her mom is absolutely one of the best people I know and I consider the mom to be one of my best, dearest (pick an adjective that means really good things) people in my life.  Ever.  So not being able to go to this wedding was heartbreaking.  No Kindle Fire or shopping trip was going to make me feel better about it at all.

Then a nightmare happens.  I get a call at 3:30am on a Saturday morning from my mom telling me my cousin fell off the back of her Harley and was run over by a friend who was unable to stop in time.  My cousin wasn’t expected to live.  And I couldn’t get home.  A lot of things happened (that I won’t go into) and a friend GIVES me the money to go.  She, out of the blue, wrote me online asked if she could put the money in my bank acct so I could go home.  God works in mysterious ways.  You have no idea how much we are thankful for the friend who did this for us.

So Than and I packed up and went to Texas.  We went to the hospital (Than had to stay in waiting room while I went into ICU) and I was able to see/pray/etc with my cousin.  In.Tears.  But the fact that she was still alive 2 weeks after that accident and her liver that was nearly in 2 had started repairing itself was a miracle.  Lots of things happened – all miraculous, but this blog is not the time or place for all that occurred.  Suffice it to say we were all able to witness a miracle.  Shelly is alive.  And she’s currently in a rehab, long term facility awake, knows who she is and who everyone else is and she can speak (around her trach for now), has just started to stand and take baby steps and is 100% herself.  That accident was a horrible accident.  The fact that she lived is all due to God’s intervention.  So many lives have been touched by this horrible accident, you wouldn’t believe how many people are giving God the glory for all this.  And He richly deserves it because only God could have saved her AND brought her out of this completely herself.  One of these days I’ll start a seperate journal and share all that happened on this trip – it’s truly amazing.

We also got to go to the wedding.  The best part was the Saturday before the wedding, my friend Linda and I set Colleen (the bride) up.  Lin went to Coll’s house to help with wedding stuff and after Lin got there I parked down a bit and sent Than to the front door to see if Coll would “buy Cub Scout popcorn.”  She apologized to him and said she couldn’t and I popped out around the corner and asked, “What about from me, could you buy some from me?”  I think the neighbors heard that scream.  She nearly choked me to death hugging me.  It was awesome.  Her wedding was so perfect, she was a beautiful bride and it was really good to see so many people from her family that I hadn’t seen in years.  And Than and I spent two fantastic days out at Lin’s place and it was perfection.

The other days we were there we spent at my friend, Debbie’s (THANK YOU DEBBIE!) who handed me her house keys and said, “whatever you need.”  (Than literally cried his eyes out when we left Debbies.  They are going to be Skype buddies.  He loves her sooo much!  Me, too.  I’ve been friends with her since I was 15).  We also spent the last 4 days at my best friend, Suzanne’s.  That was sooo much fun.  Suz’ boy, Benji was born 20 days before Than but we moved away when they were 2.  We had a great time staying at their house with Suz, her husband, daughter and Benji.  Than wants to go back so he can hang with Benji.  He actually wants to MOVE back but that’s not in the cards. LOL

Ok, about the Tooth Fairy ( I bet you’re wondering if I’d ever get to the crafting part of this crafting blog, eh?)….  So there’s a used curriculum/craft fair coming up and I bought a table to sell my wares at.  My wares.  Yeah.  Me.  Selling stuff I’VE made.  Should be scary.  I’ve decided to make a bunch of those tooth fairy pillows and sell them for $5.00 a pop.  They’re small and I can normally make 1 an hour.  Now if I only had an hour to make one.

It’s what I’ve been doing lately instead of typing on here.  I told myself I needed 50 by the time the fair rolls around in mid-June.  I currently have 20 made.  I had more but I gave 1 to my niece and 1 to my nephew (the ones that live here), 1 to Than and I have 1 set aside for my friends son.  OH and I have one that I’m going to send to Alaska for my friends little girl.  But I also want to make her a flower baby felt doll.  I’ll share those here after I get ‘em done.

For now, here’s some of the tooth fairy pillows:

     

When I make tooth fairy pillows to put on my Etsy shop, someone remind me to photograph them separately on a light background so you can see the colors better.  You’ll do that for me, right?

 

PROJECT: Tooth Fairy Pillows and other ramblings

Tooth Fairy Pillows

This is my latest effort to make money for Than’s 4th Grade curriculum.  I’ll be making scads of these pillows and selling them on my Etsy store and at the Used Curriculum Book Sale in June.  I’m considering putting a ribbon on top for them to hang from the door, but not sure yet as ribbon is freaking expensive and I’m freaking broke.

I need to put a disclaimer up when I’m selling that “Of course these are handmade by the idiot at badlycrafted.com.  It ain’t named that because I’m trying to be humble.  It’s actually truth in advertising.  You get what you pay for.  A $5.00 pillow that holds a tooth in pocket at the top and a place for money in the bottom pocket.  No two are alike unless asked for and all sewing is iffy.”  Wonder if I can fit that on a business card….hmmm.

I’m going to attempt to make friendship bracelets that have actual clasps on them, too and sell them for $3.00 -$4.00 each (depending on final costs after making them).  Make a lot, sell for cheap and hope people are so excited by how inexpensive they are that they’ll overlook the bad craftsmanship.  Wonder if I should put THAT on a card?  Hmmm….

Friends have been trying to help me come up with ideas of crafts to make and sell at the book sale.  I’m getting far too many suggestions that require some level of skill.  Honestly, don’t these people actually KNOW me?  They’ve seen the work first hand.  They know it’s crap.  Maybe they hope that if I make a bunch of something that eventually I’ll get good at it.  I’m the opposite.  I just get worse as I go on because I fret over each stitch and try to change it …sometimes on the same project which makes things uneven.  At least I’m having a good time doing it.

Heck, even my dentist put up one of the Tooth Fairy pillows on his FaceBook page saying it was cute.  He must really want me to come in and get that filling… ;)   (I love my dentist and his entire staff, btw.  They put up with my weirdness).

Oh!  I haven’t mentioned the “move”.  We moved into a better place and the moving company was FAN-FLIPPING-TASTIC.  Phoenix Valley people – I solemnly swear that I will never use another moving company (if I can help it) other than www.alwaysprofessionalmoving.com ever again.  They were awesome.  Above and beyond.  No creepy criminal types – just guys that worked fast and efficiently.  Didn’t draw things out to make more money – they don’t work that way.  As a matter of fact they hustle the whole time and get your stuff moved as fast and as safe as possible.  They are soooo good that you have to book ahead.  Like way ahead because people know how great they are.  Just thought I’d add my .02 to let you guys know what a great company they are.  And no I don’t get squat for this little recommendation.  They don’t even know I’m doing it.  I’m all about word-of-mouth when I find a really great deal.

PROJECT: Mini Christmas wreath…aka the peephole wreath

Being stuck at home is no fun.  Even worse is when you feel a little south of good and are bored stiff.  But enough about Than….  har har…blech.  Even I’m not laughing at that one.  Not that I laugh at any of them….

I’m very tired today.  G came home from work and I fell asleep in 2 seconds flat once I knew it was safe to pass completely out.  Woke up an hour later and decided to finish this little wreath I’d started earlier in the day.

I was sitting in my chair with my rolling craft cart by me and I noticed that I had an unused cardboard wreath shape cutout and just begging for “something”.  As I was getting up to get a drink of water I tripped over my giant bag o’ felt and decided the two should meet.

So I cut out a bunch of leaf shapes from all the little scraps I refuse to throw away (I just put them in baggies and tell myself I’ll use them someday.  HA!  I finally did it! Take THAT obsessive need to hoard craft supplies!)

Here’s the end result…a small wreath that has been hung over top the peephole on the front door.

 

Voila!  The peephole wreath.  I know, it just sounds bad, but it is, what it is.

My photography is getting worse.  It can’t all be my shaking hand, I have the “shake correct” setting on the phone camera.  Something has to be wrong with the camera on my phone.  Figures…all sorts of issues are popping on my phone.

PROJECT: Flower Hair Clip (SIMPLE!)

My friend’s daughter turned 9 the other day and I wanted to make something for her.

What to make, what to make….

Pink

Flower

Hair accessory

 

VOILA!

 

 

 

Easy peasy…and you can change them out due to the little loop I put on the back.  Sometimes I even amaze myself.  OUCH!  I just hurt myself while patting myself on the back.

 

Project: Ewenice (Sheep) Cell Phone Cover

Yeah, yeah, I’ve been slacking off this week in the blogging department.  It’s been super busy around here.  It culminated in Than the Man marching in the Tempe Veteran’s Day Parade on Friday morning.  He had so much fun and was so cute!  Of course I had a blast sitting with my friend, her mom and her daughter.  We were cheering at random people walking/riding by way before the parade even started.  So if you were on Mill Avenue Friday morning before the parade started and a group of females cheered and clapped for you for no apparent reason, that was us.  Having a really good time.  Can’t wait til next year.  We’re bringing signs….

So since I feel guilty about not not blogging for so long, I actually got creative and made another phone cover for my smartphone.  This one stars Ewenice:

   

I actually made this one wayyyyy better than the Perry the Platypus phone cover.  This one went much faster.  Yay me!

The pictures are horrid, but hey…whaddya expect?

Project: Fall Wreath, now with actual instructions!


I was in the mood to “craft” as opposed to draw today.  Of course I’ll still draw later, but first up…making a fall wreath.

I had a bunch of cardboard that needed to be torn up and thrown out.  However I was feeling “green” and thought I needed to use it for something other than landfill. (I’ll take that award now…out of unrecycled plastic please…um…)

So instead I took a huge bowl and inverted it over the cardboard and drew a line around it.  Then I turned it right side up and centered it on the cardboard and drew the smaller circle inside the bigger one.  Then I dug some scrap felt out, drew a leaf template out of extra cardboard and cut the leaf shape out of all different colors of felt.  I went for “Fall” colors as much as possible.  Hot pink wouldn’t do well in a Fall Wreath no matter how much I wanted to use it. ;)   Then I used Tacky Glue to glue the leaves to each other (just a dot on the upper end of the leaf where it sits on the previous one).  After I made two rows (smaller one for inside circle and larger for outer circle). I pulled them off the cardboard, punched to holes in the top, threaded a bit of yarn (for hanging) and then poured the glue all over the top of the cardboard.  I then carefully pressed the 2 circles in place on top of the glue and let it dry.

VOILA!  Fall leaf wreath!

              

PROJECT: Perry the Platypus phone cover & my mom

So I’ve been kind of busy since yesterday.  I got a wild idea that I wanted to make a Perry the Platypus cover for my ‘droid phone.

   

Click on the links to see my gorgeous craftsmanship.  ROFLMBO.  Seriously…great ideas, crappy execution.  I’m ok with that.  I have a one-of-a-kind Perry the Platypus phone cover.

SCHWEEEET!

ETA:  So if you read my Comments section you’ll notice my mom requesting one.  My 71 year old mom wants a Perry the Platypus phone cover.  The apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree.  My mom is hysterically funny.  Road trip with her just once and you’ll never want to ride with anyone else again.

Now that sounds bad but it’s not meant that way.  Yeah she back seat drives and constantly slams her foot on the imaginary break while making horrific intakes of breath…. “JEN! THAT CAR 10 MILES AHEAD OF US IS TURNING!  HIT THE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES!“  But in the pure fun dept, no one beats my mom on a road trip.

She and I have taken lots of trips just the two of us.  The best part was when I’d be super tired and driving (she didn’t drive that much because I was either driving a stick shift or a company car rental) and she’d sing the mile markers to me.  In an opera voice.  Every.single.one.    Then there was the whole, “lob a bottle” incident.  Guy zipped past us once in an unsafe way and she was drinking a 20 oz bottle of Coke and the only thing she could think of to say (yell) was, “Don’t make me lob this bottle at you buddy!”  I swear I laughed the rest of the trip on that one saying alone.

My mom cracks me up.  Almost as much as I crack me up.  Two peas in a pod I tell ya.

Project: Fishmund

Ok, they can’t all be funny.  And I’m talking about both the titles to my posts and the posts themselves.  I’m, of course, assuming that you think any of my posts are funny.  As long as I crack me up, I’m ok.

It’s 11:32pm and I’m post last dose and very, very sleepy.  However, I wanted to finish sewing my “I’m bored stiff and must create” project that I started last night.

(drumroll please)

I give you….

Fishmund:

 

Btw, that’s not my leg under Fishmund, it’s the arm to my recliner.  For some reason it looks like my leg to me.  That could just be my medicine playing tricks on me.  It happens.  Often.

The one color of spots on Fishmunds face looks like sliced carrots.  I’m not fond of that look.  But I’m the one who put the “Happy Spots” there (to annoy Than, but that’s another story entirely) so we’ll all just pretend that I planned out this project with extreme care instead of throwing the whole design together by closing my eyes and pulling colors out of the felt bag.

The Ugly Truth: I’m telling you guys the truth, I really DO craft badly…

I posted last night’s post and linked it to FaceBook.

And then…and then…wait, I gotta pull myself together, I’m still laughing… I got a few messages from friends asking  me to make an Angry Bird Pig for their kids.  One even mentioned paying me.

Seriously, I love you guys, but my work is crap.  CRAP I TELL YOU.   Maybe, eventually (probably not, though) I might get better at this stuff.  But I’m 45 and have been doing this stuff since I was in my mid-20′s.  It’s not looking like it gets better. I’m blind as a bat (for detail work I need my reading glasses), my hands shake and I’m ambivalent about straight lines.

I think what I need to do is make a project and then just send it around to my friends.  Kind of like the “Flat Stanley” project.  Btw, I plan on doing a “Flat THANley” project.  Than and I are going to take a picture of him, cut it out like Flat Stanley, laminate it and then send it to friends around the world.  Gotta get moving on that….

Anyway, I should ship one of my projects like that just to show everyone that, seriously, my sewing projects are hack work.  I, in no way, am just trying to get compliments.  I’m completely honest here about the quality of my work.  I’m enthusiastic about crafting, not good at it.  I have fantastic ideas, but wonky execution.  I’m a dreamer who’s also a realist.  LOL

Eventually, I’d like to have people see my works here on BC and then make the same project, then email me a picture so I can put it up on the site.  I’m the “BadlyCrafted” picture, you guys can be the “BetterCrafted” pictures.  Of course if yours is worse than mine you’re joining me on the bad couch.  If I admit that I suck at this, then you have to, as well.  We all need the ability to laugh at ourselves.  The only exception to the laughing at ourselves is that I won’t make fun of a child’s work.  To me, if a kid makes it, it’s always going to be a BETTERcrafted idea.  That’s just the way I fly.

I think I’ll attempt another pig today.  Or tonight.  Than said I have to make a bunch for him.  I told him he needs to go get a job.