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Project: Guilt-ridden toilet paper roll sheep

So I’m feeling guilty that I haven’t actually put up a craft lately.

I saw that someone found my page via a search engine search for “How to make a toilet paper roll sheep”.  Hey, where there’s a need, and all that.  (waves to the searcher!)

And here you have…a really, really badly crafted toilet paper roll sheep.

I used 1 toilet paper roll, a bunch of cotton balls (torn in half), 1 long pipe cleaner (cut in four), 2 googly eyes, some cotton batting, 1 small piece of black felt for the face and a little more for the ears.  Also 1 piece of cardboard to seal up the hind quarters…

Here ya go… I’ll put “tips on how to do a better job than me” at the end.

First off, I want you to scan the pictures closely.  Notice the intense craftsmanship which I use to make and assemble every piece.  How carefully I cut things out, how each piece is lovingly, carefully crafted to make this toilet paper roll sheep the very best it can be.  Why, I bet I could sell this thing on Etsy.  Maybe THIS is the craft that will get me on the Martha Stewart show.   Or Sesame Street.  That would be awesome.


So, yeah, I didn’t add the face, the ears or the cardboard to this picture of what you’ll need.  This ain’t Martha Stewart buddy.  This ain’t even Rod Stewart, Jon Stewart, Jimmy Stewart or even Stuart Little….

(continuing)

  The roll is actually too long.  I cut a bit off.  You may want to cut a bit more off than I did.  My sheep seems extra long.  Like a wienie-sheep.  Yeah, that’s it…it’s a hybrid.  THE WIENIE SHEEP!  Oh wow, that reminds me.  We were at this bluegrass festival while out in California this past weekend and it had those cool gourmet food trucks around it.  Than and I wanted a hot dog.  The name of the truck was “The Greasy Wiener”.  Yeah.  And I didn’t take a picture of it.  They deep fry the hotdogs to cook them.  My arteries hardened after the first bite.  It was good….

Where was I?

      Ok so here I taped the legs so they didn’t move once you start putting the cotton balls on.

I put the cotton stuffing in right here so the face can be stuck on it and stick out a bit from the body.  I’m sure there’s a better way.  But not in my world.  trace the shape of the opening, cut it out and voila!     That’s the face part.

 

Here’s the main thing I’d do differently.  The legs.  I would double up on the pipecleaner and just twist them together to make the legs sturdier.  These legs are rather weak.

And that’s it.  A truly badlycrafted toilet roll sheep.  Go make one, but do a better job.  I know you can do it!

Drawing in the dark

In a long list of bad ideas of things to do after “last dose” this one ranks right up there.  Good thing none of the bad ideas have anything to do with leaving the house, caring for anyone other than myself (Than’s always asleep) or operating heavy machinery.

Drawing?  That’s another story entirely.

I took my medicine and told myself, “Self, we’re just going to lay here in bed and watch tv until we fall asleep.”  But Self said, “Bwahahahahaha, no no no, Jen…you haven’t really drawn anything today and you know that you really want to draw something!”  To which I replied, “Oh my gosh you’re right!  I spent all day at the zoo taking those pictures of PLANTS and I could be practicing drawing PLANTS that I took pictures of at the ZOO.”  See, that there is me still wondering why I was at a zoo taking pictures of plants instead of animals.  Especially since there is a botanical garden right next door to the zoo.  Even I roll my own eyes at me.

Um…what?

So, with Self  prompting me, I decided I’d sit up and draw.  In bed.  In the dark.  Did I mention the only light in the room was the tv?  And then G came in and he had to get up early so I gathered my stuff and went into the living room… still in the dark… to draw.  I did turn the living room tv on so I’d have some light.  I have no clue why I didn’t turn on a light in there to draw.  It’s hard to fathom anything I do after I take “last dose”.

And to make matters worse, I decided not to draw the plants, I decided to draw animals.

I give you, The Phoenix Zoo…Now with Ewenice and a hippo included.  Which, btw, are not in the Phoenix Zoo.  Nope, no hippos there.  Or Ewenice’s.  They do have giraffes and zebras.  But theirs aren’t wonky…

Yes, I thought I did a great job…drawing zoo animals…at 1am…in the dark.  Check out the back legs on that giraffe. Then check out his expression.  It’s like he’s saying, “Um, Jen?  WTH?”  Don’t get me started on the zebra and his striping. Even Ewenice looks shocked.

Oy….

The Ewe! She Can’t Breathe!!

Than and I just had a very strange conversation…  For clarity, Than will be “the smart one” and I will be..well…me.

He was sitting at my desk playing  SPORE on my computer.  He has SPORE on his computer AND on my laptop, but for some reason he wanted to play it on my computer.  I think it’s because his headphones aren’t working (the kid goes through headphones like I go through sky blue marker pens) and I won’t let him take my headphones off of my computer.

So, he’s sitting at my desk.  Ewenice is sitting on the printer next to my monitor.  I’m walking around talking on the phone to Wendi discussing the Homeschool convention tomorrow.

I hang up with Wendi and yell, “THE EWE! SHE CAN’T BREATHE!” 

Than rips the headset off and looks at me and says, “What Mommy?  What’s wrong?”

Me:  “Ewenice!  I forgot to draw nostrils on her last night!  She can’t breathe if she doesn’t have nostrils!”

The Smart One, in a very patient voice.  The voice I’ve used on him countless times: “Mommy, she’s a stuffed animal.  You can draw the nostrils on and she still won’t be able to breathe.”

Me:  “This is no time for common sense, GET ME MY BLACK MARKER!”

So now Ewenice can breathe and I’ve confirmed to my 8 year old that me being a fun mom comes at the cost of sanity. ;)

Project: SURPRISE! Finishing the Felt Sheep

Ok so I surprised myself and actually finished sewing Ewenice (YOU-niss) tonight.  She’s now officially my mascot.  Until I find something more fascinating.  Which doesn’t take long for …oooh look at that! Shiny!

Where was I?

Last post we’d just finished her head.  The body is super easy.  First I just sewed the legs and feet.  I didn’t put stuffing in the legs, but I did add a bit to the feet just for giggles.  Her body got stuffed too.  “Hey Ewenice! Get STUFFED!”  (I am such a juvenile…but then again, I play World of Warcraft at age 45…)

Here are some pictures:

That’s a leg

This shows that I didn’t have plain black felt, but the sparkly black stuff was just turned inside out.  I’m clever like that.

  I sewed the foot part way before adding the leg in.  Just seems to make it easier.

  That’s me at age 4.  Proof that they did indeed have photos in 1970.  AND proof that not only can I not take good pictures, but I can’t have good pictures taken OF me.  Still, I was so cute.  Just look at me…I wish I had brushed my hair.  Why didn’t I brush my hair?  Oh yeah, that’s during my “allergic to hair brushing period”.  That was followed by my “hair cut short like a boys because I wouldn’t take care of it” period.    Um…where was I?

  You put the left leg in, you take the left leg out, you put the left leg in and you shake it all about… HEY! GUESS WHAT?  I’ve already taken my last medicine dose of the night!  I’m going to really regret this post in the morning.  Maybe.

  Nice gams, Ewenice.

Here’s a side view to show that the foot is barely stuffed.  Just enough to make it interesting:

I put the legs aside after they were sewn together to concentrate on just getting the body together and attached to the head.  It wasn’t difficult but took a little bit of thinking to do it.  Get yourself a seam ripper.  Like an eraser, I use the seam ripper all the time.  Just be gentle using it when you are working with felt. You don’t want to tear apart the felt.

  I sewed around the body til I got to where the legs go.  I kind of crossed the legs up at the top and placed those inside the body (the front two were crossed at the top together and then the back two were crossed over each other in the back…I’m hoping that’s obvious and I’m just babbling for no apparent reason).  After I got the legs sewn in I shoved stuffing into the body and sewed Ewenice the rest of the way up.

I noticed that if I held her up her head flopped backwards.  BADLYCRAFTED INDEED.  So I did what I normally do.  Fix mistakes.  I don’t think crafts through enough to not make the mistakes but I’m pretty good at bandaging.  So in order to get Ewenice’s head to stay forward I just sewed the green stem to her body and voila! Non-wonky headed Ewenice.

    and finally, Ewenice all finished.  A special thanks to Than for holding her up for me.

Here is a pic of a Ewenice cartoon for comparison:

Project: How To Make the Felt Sheep Part 1

So I thought to myself, “Hey, wouldn’t it be super fun to make that cartoon sheep you obsessively draw into a felt stuffed toy?”  And I answered, “No, but you’ll make me do it anyway.”  And I said, “How right you are!”

Then I grabbed my phone (for pictures), my giant bag of  felt, some caffeinated drinks, a better attitude, and all the stuff I’d need to make this sucker.

I decided that I’d take pictures of the process every step of the way.  It’s not that I think anyone reading this is slow or can’t figure things out on their own, it’s just that I know when I started out I needed extra help.  Lots of extra help.  And since I’m doing this with pictures, instead of video, there will be a lot of pictures showing you things.

Ready?  This is just Part 1, the head.  Which is actually the most in-depth part.  Know that I used all white thread so you can see my stitches.  Normally if I was sewing on dark colors, I’d use black thread instead of white and vice versa.

This is what I WANT it to look like (don’t get your hopes up people, these are unsewn pieces of felt laid on the table and there’s a reason this blog is called “badly crafted”)

  Notice the reading glasses.  Old lady eyes need to be able to see.

Here’s the pieces laid out so you see the shapes better.  You know, just in case you want to attempt this.  I ended up trimming the ears a bit.

With the exception of the eyes (black and white circles) and the yellow circle for the flower, EVERYTHING has a double.  Even the flower petals.  That’s because parts of this sheep aren’t stuffed, but there is double felt to make it “thick” enough to stand up to the stuffed parts.

You will need felt  (all of these are made from FELT).  You can buy the felt at Hobby Lobby, Michaels, Walmart, etc.  Normally like 25 cents each):

FLOWER:  2 small green leaves, 2 small green stems (*ignore the larger green stem in picture), 1 small yellow circle and 8 flower pink petals

HEAD:  2 large brown “face” pieces, 2 white eye circles, 2 black eye circles, 2 white fluffy hair pieces

EARS:  4 black weirdly shaped pieces (see pic)

BODY:  2 large white “cloud-looking” pieces

LEGS:  8 brown leg shapes.  (see pic)

FEET:  8 black shapes (see pic)

STUFFING:  see my picture above.

Black marker for making his nostrils because I’ll be darned if I’m going to try to sew tiny little nostrils on this sheep.  That’s what I get for putting them on her face in the drawings.

             

I started by sewing the eyes.  Sew the black circles into the center of the white circles.  Then you sew  the two eyes together in the center like this:

  Then you sew the eyes onto the brown face part.  BUT, don’t sew the entire round white part onto the brown.  Only sew it halfway up the eyes, like this:

  Next you sew 2 of the black ear pieces together to make one sturdy ear.  You’ll do the same with the other two ears.  Then you’ll attach it to the head like this:

      After you get the ears on, you’ll get ready to sew the white fluffy hair on the sheeps head.  THIS is where stuffing starts coming into play.  You will sew all around the curvy parts and leave the bottom FLAT part of the shape open (so you can stuff).  Then you stuff and sew it shut.  Remember, don’t over stuff or you split the seams.

      Now you need to attach it to the head behind the eyes and ears and IN BETWEEN the two pieces of brown felt FACE pieces.

    (look closely in the 2nd picture. You can see my big toe! It’s so cute with the pink nail polish!) Don’t sew all the way around the face just yet.  You’ll need to sew the flower parts on the lower jaw area before you do.  I find it easier (and less messy in the looks dept) if you sew them to the back piece (from the inside) instead of having a bunch of different messy seams everywhere.  Certainly someone with more craft know-how would tell you to sew it exactly into the seam that will be going around the face, but I’m not that person.  I craft badly.  I have ugly seams on the back of my sheeps head.  I’ll show you later.  If you’d like directions on how to sew it beautifully, you’ll have to find another blog.  And then let me know because if it’s easy I may try it. ;)

  Now stop (HAMMER TIME!) and take a moment to sew your flower together.  I just sewed the petals together and then put the circle in the middle and sewed an inner circle and outer circle to make sure all the petals were securely attached to the center.

As I type this I realize I did NOT add the other green stem to the other side of his mouth to attach the flower.  It looked weird and flopped the flower around.  So I  just attached the pink flower inside the side of his mouth and then sew around the head leaving an opening on the side so you can stuff it.  After you do that, stuff, then sew it up and voila! A sheeps head.

       

I’m worn out.

Ok, so tonight I’ll be working on the body (which is totally easy) and the legs/feet (which is just time consuming) and will post that tomorrow.

If you’ve made it this far without eye rolling, harfing or plotting my death, good for you! I appreciate it!  Tomorrows stuff won’t be so…busy.

Later taters!

It’s a good thing I don’t make cars

Apparently this car was in an accident…how else would you explain the front end and the back end being wonky.

That’s what you get for letting farm animals drive:

Also apparent to me (it’s the next day and I’ve just woken up and am drinking my morning tea) that I forgot the running joke is EWE, not EW.  (sigh).  It fits either way, but still…

Shearing Day

I was trying to draw gnomes to put up around my house.  See, my oldest brother was coming to visit (he was here in Phoenix on business) and his World of Warcraft toon (one of them anyway) is a gnome.  So I was doing things to irritate him.  Like posting gnome pictures all the way down the hall to the guest bedroom.  There was even one on the mirror behind the toilet that said, “The Wee folk say, Please wee IN the toilet, not on the floor.”  (my juvenile humor knows no bounds)

Somehow the sheep obsession reared it’s ugly head and I ended up drawing this:

 

WHY?  I have no answer for that…

Sheep Obsession

Recently, while “googling” for stuff to draw.  I found a sheep that I thought was rather cute.  So I drew it.  Then ideas started popping in my head.  You know…the ideas where you think you can be really funny and everyone will “get it” and think, “Oh wow, Jen is sooo clever!”  Yeah….those.  /sarcasm

 

I give you….the SHEEP.  Which, btw, my friend on FB told me looks like “Shaun the Sheep”.  I’m ok with that.  Just know that the sheep I drew wasn’t Shaun.  It was some random sheep someone else had drawn.    Remember this, owner of the Shaun the Sheep copyright,  this is NOT Shaun… ;)   These are all girls.  Ewes….